You play video games and do nerdy things? Get a life!
How many girls feel like this when there are a bunch of creepers hitting on you at the bar.
Neo when he fought the multiple Smiths for the first time.
Go to jail. Do not pass go, do not collect 200 dollars and do not, I repeat, do not… drop the soap.
Reunited with an old enemy.
I’ve been living in the city for a little over a year now and I went home to my old house in the suburbs. I was walking up to the house when I hear this very low buzz. I look at the door to be greeted by 8 junebugs. My eyes widened as coldly said “I totally forgot about about you fuckers”.
There was a mouse in the barbecue last night.
He was lucky we weren’t sadistic people. The good news is he lives to eat cheese for another day.
Gameshow Host: For one hundred points, finish this statement “Better late than…”
Blanche: Pregnant!
Work wants me to dress up as a banana.
You all know what that means….. IT’S PEANUT BUTTER JELLY TIME!!!!
Listen closely boys and girls as The Hulk teaches you about Empathy.
The start of a good day.
I thought it was gonna be a bad day but as I was turning into the neighbour’s driveway, their cat was lifting up and quivering his back legs. My cat used to do that too and we said he was dancing. It’s the great moments like those that get you through the day.
Awkward times then, funny times now.
You ever talk to someone with a really weird voice and you focus on it so much that your voice matches theirs?
